The hair of many faces - Or: Tom Cruise only Exists in Mission Impossible movies - a long-ass essay

  How do you solve a quandary like Tom Cruise? I’m serious. To be honest – I actually have little to no thoughts about the guy as a celebrity outside of the usual comment about jumping on couches, and Scientology stuff, and even that is minimal and forgettable. This man is an actor who has lived within the very core of my cinematic foundation.   When I was little, I interchanged him with Brad Pitt because at the time, they were the two biggest male actors in the goddamn universe. And then they did Interview with a Vampire together and looking back; what I vaguely remember is Kirsten Dunst, and not much else. (Oh, and the lighting, many candles, plenty shadow – much early 90s goth romance, too much mascara? I think Antonio Banderas is there for a second – I cant be bothered to find out). Like, he is a mega star.   So big that he’s a black hole in my cinematic psyche. I keep having this thought in the back of my brain that I don’t actually realise how much of an acting power

Oh look - I have more thoughts on Guy Ritchie movies

  You know how you sometimes open Netflix, or any other streaming service of your choice, and just stare at the landing page for 20 minutes straight not exactly knowing what to watch? Its even weirder when the “recommended for you” list pops up and the movies and shows it recommends are so up your alley and are definitely shows you really actually want to watch. And then you don’t. Instead, you reload Archer and watch it again, right from the beginning, for the 5 th time in the past month. And I don’t even care that the show hasn’t aged all that well (I mean, what has?).   I still love it. Science attributes it to a combination of procrastination, sensory overload and a big fat heaping of nostalgia.   I can certainly agree with that.   Aside from the nostalgia comfort blanket that repeat watches offers, you also end up absorbing more details and features on repeat watches which, if anyone knows me and my particular aesthetics; is my absolute visual jam. Like how in my 4

Hey - is thing still on? I watched a movie

Despite the pandemic shutdowns, the ample opportunities to hunker down and watch the backlog of shows and movies that you'd put on your to do list since you got a shared account on Netflix from your friend, I have not watched anything new at all. In fact, I watched old stuff, like Community, and... uh... Community.  Oh, and re-runs of Unnhhhhh on YouTube. Fun fact, I've never, ever, ever watched a single episode of RuPaul's Drag Race.... ever. Anyway.  I watched Guy Ritchie's take on the Arthurian Legend which I otherwise like to call: Dark Souls: The Arthurian Version (but with 75% more geezers!). Ritchie does gritty action really well, his visuals are cool, and, when it happens, the scripting of dialogue is fun to watch play out. Having said that, his work is already cliche and tropey after so many movies (except for U.N.C.L.E, but i'll get to that another time), where some Mad Lad with fast talking skills and a small posse of faithful, but competent

A glimpse into Volksian life - summary 1

Extract from the journal of Marxus, Arbiter of the 2nd platoon of the Palace Guard. I haven't slept all night.  This is not uncommon.  My sister, second lady in waiting to Lady Tertia is much in the same situation as I. We both would have much preferred the exhaustion to have been caused by yet another raucous and passionate guest (or guests) of our Lady Tertia.  At least there we know to keep our eyes forward and allow the ladies to tidy up (mop up really).  Ocassionally, we will politely escort or 'roll' an exhausted guest down the stairs and onto their palanquins but such is the lot of cosy palace guard life.  I must admit in my first year I always felt dread when I was shifted to guard Lady Tertia's quarters.  I was always apprehensive of the... noises that drifted past her doors. It wasn't just her epicurean tastes in lovers, it was the strange magics she would dabble with in her studies and the strange mentors she would gather in her chambers.  I fear s

Some people are calling it a respect gap

There’s a lot to get off my chest, today is fitting.   I know, I’m being preachy, even patronising at times.   I have re-written this 5 times because, yeah, I know what I’m like.   But sometimes, you speak out and would you look at that, I’m already apologising for my opinions.   So, just try not to roll your eyes too hard, just a bit.   It’s hard in the era of 150 characters or less, but let’s try and give it a go.   Also, before some of you get in with your ‘ yeah but’s’ and ‘ whatabouts’ – I hear you.   Keep reading because guess what, it gets addressed, and I can only hope I can make it all make some sense for you. Feminism is an ‘F’ word now, because Feminazis are going to steal everyone’s penises and fly us all to the moon, where BBQs are banned and you can only eat sourdough and avocado, or something.   Because an angry woman who is so done with the world is shrill, and extremist, and most of all wrong. /s ( You ever wonder what happened to make her so mad? ).  I can'

Still writing - this time a fake script!

A few months ago - I met some new people by attending this fun social workshop where people proposed their script ideas for fun. I, of course, arrived late - and, of course, was also feverishly sick. Anyway - everyone's ideas were fun and outlandish.  The vast majority of pitches were sci-fi or fantasy based and involved gratuitous amounts of imagined CGI.  Needless to say - the budgets for these movies would have been extreme.  I actually didn't really come to the workshop with any ideas.  I mean, I know nothing about pitching a script or story, so I went along just to rub elbows and bask in the glow of other people's talent. To my horror, I was still asked to take the stage and there I stood, red faced and wobbling slightly from fever as I pitched an old idea to a relatively unimpressed crowd.  One girl even vocalised that my idea, and those of others as well (so in this case I wasn't singled out, and I certainly wasn't offended), were pretty crap.  Can'

What ho y'all!

Will you look at that.... I have made a post.  Its taken me two or three years.  I have also finally changed the layout of this place.  Is this fancy enough for you?  I think I want to do a few more changes, but it might not count for much if I don't really end up posting anything on here. Ugh guys... adulting is hard! Every hour of my day is used up like sand in a... sand bucket... But last week, my social media feed got inundated with information about the casting of my favourite game dad, Geralt of Rivia for the upcoming NetFlix series.  I had feelings as a result.  Weird ones. Anyway - I mentioned that I had an essay's worth of thoughts and a friend told me to write them down.  So here we are.  Its a preliminary set of thoughts, and I truncated a lot of it and cut out loads of paragraphs because the article was meant to be for publication in another online thing.  But it didn't happen so I might as well archive it here.  Having said that, I could expa