Thursday, 1 March 2012

That's not my M55 Carbine Rifle - I'm just happy to see you

Hark - an event review... sort of...

Dear Diary,

I was intending on drowning my sorrows in a pub with like minded sorrowful people, and talk about, er, our sorrows, instead I was somehow pulled into my local GAMEAus shop for the Mass Effect3 preview night.
There was pizza involved... that's all I can say

It was a pretty interesting event, I was more than impressed by the fact that proper BioWare peeps had been flown in to attend. Robyn Theberge, project manager at Bioware Edmonton came to grace us with her beautiful accent and kickass N7 t-shirt wearing self.
Jetlagged Kickassery...

Well, actually, that is a lie. According to my Epically epic buddy Rob Jedi (who contributes on TechRomp and reviews all the events here), who attended almost all, if not all, Mass Effect 3 product launches in Sydney, Robyn has actually done the rounds at all these events.
Predictably, flying in from fair Canadia and into the distant and sweaty bosom of time warped Australia, you’d be a little tired. Poor Robyn looked it. Except that she was still really awesomely excited to give us the ridiculously low down-low down on the massive masses (hurr hurr) of external gameplay that you can do outside ME3.

Needless to say, I am really really wanting an iPad after she told me there was a linked in tablet app game.

Yes, this may be old news but unless it happens on a computer, I tend to know jack...

So yes, I was quite impressed. Thankfully, she also previewed the FemShep Trailer, and was really excited to show her to us. I’d seen this FemShep trailer before but it was a good scene change from the myriad of swarthy, (hot), marine-esque, (super sexy), slightly grumpy looking, (mysterious? or constipated?) BroShep posters that plastered every single friggin wall in the shop.

However to be fair I laughed so hard watching the boy run during the demos. Bless you Shepard and your derpy chimpanzee run, it adds to your greatly diminishing sexy charm.
Wuvs Totoro...

Robyn was also kind enough to reveal not so revealing answers to most of the questions brought up. Yes, there is DLC; no, there is no cross-platform multiplayer (to which I wonder, Multiple Shepards?); and....yes... there are spaceship fights.... (it was at this point I may or may have not wet my pants).

And then, after the somewhat well meaning and well aked question came the inevitable, ‘Can I have sex with aliens?’, ‘Can I have a threesome?’, ‘Will the ladies fight each other like cats in heat over my sexy self?’.

Sometimes, just sometimes, I forget that I am in fact, a crusty old lady...

Rob was pretty much my fount of knowledge regarding the new weapons equip systems, the really odd Kinect compatibility (it might be fun to say “Boom Stick”, but not to Garrus’ face methinks), and theories that there are possible Dragons... well, alien ones, or aliens that look like dragons, or even Sten. Because really, you know, Sten.

Can’t say much else about the event, Robyn got down to signing posters but clearly time issues and mighty jetlag led to less posters being signed than hoped. I was slightly disappoint, but hey, free posters.

And pizza...

(actually I didn’t eat any Pizza, the shop stopped pumping the airconditioning and in the manner of LAN parties and conventions all over the world, humidity and slightly confused about personal hygiene teenagers who ate monstrous amounts of free pizza, the place started to take on the ecological similarity of a sweaty gym sock).

So yeah – I didn’t end up taking very many photos other than some of us being irrationally enthusiastic. I wanted some of the cosplayer staff but they kept getting hijacked by proper hardcore gamer nerds. Daaaaamn you...

I was going to make an arrow to the knee joke, but apparently on FaceBook, someone beat me to it, thus sparing me large amounts of humiliation.

This dude is a badass... that's his badass face...

Shameless plug: Check out Robert's work and other reviews and happenings at TechRomp

Hawright, boring post is over - hooray for more fridays!!! ... and Cider.