Showing posts from July, 2011

I ought to sue Square Enix for damages - review of Crisis Core

Ok - so old game is old. But I have noticed that Crisis Core is only known to the core fans of the FF7 franchise, which is odd. Its an excellent game (sort of) and the story line, frankly, is a gazillion times better than the original FF7.

But first - I warn you, spoilers. But then, who cares, the FF7 story can be summed up this way without spoiling the game experience:

1. Super Soldier Babies are grown from petri dishes

2. Zack

3. Zack is totally besties with Super Soldier Baby #2, Meanwhile Super Soldier Baby #1 is feeling lonely and awkward and SSB #3 has chucked a hissy fit

4. SSB #2 and #3 die, leaving SSB #1 confused and angry

5. Zack meets Aerith, there is a lot of cuteness

6. SSB #1 gets mad and throws a tantrum of epic proportions and burns a village down

7. Zack is stuck with the shitstorm aftermath with a derpy blond

8. Zack dies (MASSIVE SPOILER! too bad!)

9. Derpy blond picks up where Zack left off and does a pretty crap job of it

10. Derpy blond fights SSB a few times until the ove…