The hair of many faces - Or: Tom Cruise only Exists in Mission Impossible movies - a long-ass essay

 

How do you solve a quandary like Tom Cruise?

I’m serious.

To be honest – I actually have little to no thoughts about the guy as a celebrity outside of the usual comment about jumping on couches, and Scientology stuff, and even that is minimal and forgettable.

This man is an actor who has lived within the very core of my cinematic foundation.  When I was little, I interchanged him with Brad Pitt because at the time, they were the two biggest male actors in the goddamn universe.

And then they did Interview with a Vampire together and looking back; what I vaguely remember is Kirsten Dunst, and not much else. (Oh, and the lighting, many candles, plenty shadow – much early 90s goth romance, too much mascara? I think Antonio Banderas is there for a second – I cant be bothered to find out).

Like, he is a mega star.  So big that he’s a black hole in my cinematic psyche.

I keep having this thought in the back of my brain that I don’t actually realise how much of an acting power-house this guy is, because all I have are a couple of jokes about his hair and something something, cults and Xenu (and my mild relief that Katie left when she did).

Cruise has been in so many good movies.  Some of them being my absolute favourites.

Oblivion? Edge of Tomorrow? Like, excuse me? Hell yes. (Edge of Tomorrow is like, another essay all in itself, stay tuned.)

Minority Report? The Last Samurai (which I have a problem with, but he’s great in it anyway) – also, yes.

Absolutely yes.

And yet… I almost feel like he somehow disappears into the movies and never re-emerges. Like he’s a shadow that takes shape in a film, only to re-appear in the next one.  I love those above-mentioned movies, but sometimes I totally forget that Tom Cruise is actually in them.  I have no idea how this has happened to my brain.

(Edit: Oh my god, I did a quick TC filmography and somehow forgot A Few Good Men.  See? What the hell!)

But – there is one exception.  Mission. Impossible.

The MI franchise is, to me, the Tom Cruise event horizon, beyond which the actor disappears and my memory of him and his formidable print on movie history fades.

But I can tell you right now – I can track Tom Cruise’s history in Hollywood via the various haircuts he’s sported in each and every one of these 6 Mission Impossible films.  

If I ever have to dig deep to even try to imagine what the guy looks like (because yes, unless I’m actually watching the movie, I actually forget what he looks like), I just try to remember his haircut. 

Anyway – enough about Tom Cruise.  Lets talk about his haircuts.

When I first watched Mission Impossible 1, my teeny tweeny brain couldn’t really comprehend the intensity of the plot twist. I walked out of the cinema pretending that I knew that Jim was the bad guy all along.  It took me months to fully understand the entire plot of the movie after having rented it again from Video Ezy and re-watched at least 2 more times. (We rented it when it first released so it was an overnight return rental, I was short on time to do my usual 376 re-watches).

While most people remember the jaw breakingly tense white room suspension scene, my brain constantly replayed the numerous ways that Jim (played by John Voight) had fooled Ethan.  And more importantly, I couldn’t get my head around that fact that Claire was also in cahoots with her husband, after all, she was an angel.

Tangent: can we please talk about Emmanuelle Breart playing Claire Phelps, just for a second?

I remember when I first watched the movie thinking – this slip of a child-girl cannot possibly be a convincing spy, let alone a central character in a high octane, blood pumping spy flick.  Throughout the movie, I lamented the loss of Kristin Scott Thomas, whom I felt was a stronger and more competent character.  Also, as Emilio Estavez’s hacker character Jack had pointed out, Kristin had lovely eyes.  Claire’s character was soft and fuzzy around the edges.  Her big eyes and kitten pout seemed more at home in a romantic drama.  Her soft voice and demeanour felt like weakness to me.  I almost felt like the movie producers had miscast yet another sexy/sweet French actress.

I’m glad to have been proven wrong.

Claire is a pearlescent snake in the grass.  Her very softness emphasises the use of illusion in a world of smoke and mirrors.  She was at all times, more than meets the eye, and the tween that I was completely fell for the charade.  So did Ethan Hunt, whose thumb trembled as he brushed it against her lips, waiting anxiously for her to wake up from the sedative she’d been injected with in the opening honey pot scene.  It was such a subtle moment which I only noticed on my umpteenth re-watch last week. 

I mean, excuse me.... look at that face, I'd trust her with my puppies

Throughout the whole movie, she seemed a lost, wounded puppy, acquiescent and watery eyed.  Its only by the end of the film that you wonder how much steel lay beneath that demeanour.  The only thing that niggles me is that I am not entirely sure if Claire had been manipulated into her villainy by Jim, or whether she underestimated the extent of her husband’s cold bloodedness. 

Anyway, back to the haircut.  Tom Cruise’s short cropped hair denoted trendy efficiency.  Apart from his sexy youthful looks, Mission Impossible’s lead protagonist had the lithe body of a gymnast.  It made him look somewhat smaller, (jokes on his actual height aside) but also more agile, like a cat.  It actually made him look like a proper spy. 

By the time we get to MI:2 – the world had changed.  And John Woo’s directorial work in this second instalment of the franchise reflected that.  It was the era of Rap Rock, leather pants, and attempts at copying the physicality and creativity of the Matrix in every single action movie. 

gross, look at that flicky tail - ugh

Its also my least favourite instalment in the franchise, and by far, the worst haircut.  Tom Cruise turns into a moody, motorcycle dude bro with soft chewy caramel centre emotions that feel cheap and unconvincing.  That long wavy haircut also does him no favours. If anything, my distaste for this movie stems from the absurdity of the plot and the overwrought romantic drama that made me roll my eyes so hard that I needed to get them serviced.

Imagine, an action-packed spy flick where the crescendo of the final fight is juxtaposed with scenes of a despairing Thandi Newton pulling her best Lady of Shallott impression.  I’m ok with Cruise and the film’s villain throwing motorcycles at each other (well, not really), but not when it cuts to the damsel losing hope with a sob and a sigh as waves slow-motion crash at her feet.  MI:2 was the least impressive spy movie of the franchise and the only thing I got out of it was a cool reworked theme song played by Limp Bizkit.

By the time MI:3 and MI:4 rolled around, I had lost interest.  In fact, by the time MI:5 was released I was surprised that it had gotten that far.  I had no idea MI:4 had even happened. 

Having said that, I enjoyed the return of neat cropped hair Ethan Hunt in MI:3, which I watched completely out of order to the rest of the franchise.  It also features my favorite team combo. Jonathan Rhys Myers, Maggie Q, and franchise veteran Ving Rhames, who worked really well together with Cruise’s Ethan, and I kind of wish they’d continued on.   

Again, this weird obsession with giving Ethan a love interest threw me for a loop.  I wonder if I just don’t want romance in my spy action flicks.  At least Julia seemed a more competent character, more charming, and more grounded.  But I was more interested in Keri Russel’s role as Ethan’s dead mentee and the central catalyst for the plot. 

Having said that, Phillip Seymour Hoffman’s Davian is probably the most terrifying and imposing villain in the entire franchise.  He is still missed and I’m glad I managed to finally watch this movie (amongst all his others) to see what a phenomenal actor he was. 

Was there a reason for the callback to the semi MI:2 long floppy hair in MI:4?  Ugh, I really don’t like that haircut.  But in terms of pure aesthetics, it make Cruise look a bit younger.  Nevertheless, MI:4 is a triumphant realignment of the franchise as crazy, stunt heavy, and dependent on effective teamwork and smarts.  You know, like a spy movie.

Yes, yes – Tom Cruise is also insane when it comes to stunting.

My only complaint is that Jeremy Renner didn’t get to seduce the billionaire, but I’m glad he got use some of that Aaron Cross potential (again, I have thoughts about Bourne to be spoken of elsewhere).  Paula Patton was umph worthy when she kicked Marceau out that window and her physicality matched her male counterparts quite well.  While I would have cringed at her character being used as a honeypot, I actually liked the subversion that she was actually not that good at it, and that maybe the movie was trying to say that the trope itself is actually kind of dumb.

To be completely honest – MI:4 dukes it out with Fallout as my favourite.  There’s something about the team dynamic and the tongue in cheek execution of the action scenes that makes it memorable in my mind’s eye.  Also, the editing and cinematography is clean, sharp and full of light, unlike the granular flarefest of MI:3. 

But then there’s the strange short floof hair of MI:5 – Rogue Nation.  Which is yet another thrilling follow up, and is proof that Cruise and the Mission Impossible Franchise is at its peak and prime.  Benji is hands down my favourite character, not because he’s meant to be the goofy, funny sidekick, but because he is genuinely a great a friend and team mate to Hunt.  There are oddly less memorable moments, despite the fact that Cruise ups the psychotic within the first 10 minutes of the film and that the underwater server scene nearly gave me a heart attack.  Its likely that the full throttleness of this movie was just too much for me to take in - it all felt like an adrenaline shot to the chest.  But I still felt like Rogue Nation is the egg and mayo filling between 4 and Fallout.  Its tasty for sure, but only because its in a sandwich.

The introduction of Rebecca Ferguson as Ilsa, who is powerful, competent and most importantly, a super, duper spy doing the most spy things that a spy could spy was an excellent slap in the face.  She keeps you on edge and maybe I enjoyed it a little when she doles out the abuse.  (I am so excited to watch Dune just to watch her play Jessica, YOU.HAVE.NO.IDEA).

ALSO, the use of Nessun Dorma as the musical leitmotif for Ilsa in the score was a level of poetic subtlety that I really appreciated.  The OST may not have had the same strength as Giacchino’s work in 4, (but to be fair, Giacchino kinda doesn’t know how to do wrong when it comes to soundtracks – yes, another biased line in the sand, fight me) but little moments such as those really stood out and helped restore a bit of human introspection to a film that felt manic most of the time.

Mission Impossible: Fallout however, is an absolute banger, in every sense of the word.  And Tom Cruise’s hair pinnacle by far.  Its back to being short cropped, with that little swish at the fringe that helps him look youthful without looking military. 

It also has my favourite slow cooked side of beef this side of the 21^st Century.  Henry Cavill makes a phenomenal villain.  There’s not a moment that goes by when I don’t think of that boxer’s arm-cocking action he does in the bathroom of that Paris nightclub when his character Walker and Hunt take on the alleged John Lark.  The way that they toss each other through the mirrors and ram each other through the walls.  And this isn’t even Cavill at his peak swoleness.

I think I have a thing for seriously good action pieces.  Would that be a fetish? 

Speaking of good hair – that moustache is life.  I am mildly upset Cavill doesn’t want to grow facial hair for the Witcher.

True to form, Fallout is also Tom Cruise ratcheting up the stunt insanity to yet another higher notch.  And I have to say, watching him at age 56, climb a helicopter rope in mid-air and then maniacally manoeuvre said helicopter in a dog fight, gives me an unexpected lease of new life.  If he can HALO jump at 35,000ft for the sake of getting a cool shot on camera, the least I can do is learn to pirouette around a pole (to be discussed later). 

Also – Ilsa brings it.  She has them Black Widow fight moves, and that scene where she leaps backwards to break the chair she was bound to? (@*$^%^&@&!)

(Ok, so it might be a fetish?) Or maybe anything Rebecca Ferguson does makes my eyes water in a good way.

The franchise has sunk its hooks into me in a weird way.  I’m pretty down to clown with action movies generally but the Mission Impossible movies have a different kind of charm to them.  It isn’t just the adrenaline; it’s the team dynamic.  And, as the movies have progressed, the franchise has also understood that its charm stems from the hail mary attitude that this team of IMF agents, not just Ethan Hunt, bring to their missions.  MI:4 articulated it best, they work because they’re a team and they’re all there for each other.  For all that these films are carried by the behemoth that is Tom Cruise, the films aren’t really dwarfed by his shadow. 

I will always ooh and aah at the fancy spy tech and cinematic experiences are always good when there’s good action pieces.  But I believe in Tom Cruise’s own personal mission to make these films be good and worthwhile.  Its almost like he’s become a vessel for good Mission Impossible movies.  They don’t feel like vanity projects, they feel like destiny. His destiny, in particular.  And maybe that’s why he remains a shadow in my cinematic experience, shining only when these movies come around. 

So, in short, let Tom Cruise keep his hair cropped, it makes him do good things in Mission Impossible movies. 

(We might even get up to 20 of them.  And Ethan Hunt will be the villain in the last – I’m willing to put money on that)